Tuesday, September 07, 2004
Hellloooo but...
Lets straighten this up OK...I am not gonna deny the fact that this whole episode has not affected me.. Of course it has.. but the more relevant point is what is the way forward...For starters, i am not new to this whole game of loss and separation... Been thru it twice now in the last 18 months - Divya and Taru...And it doesnt get worse than the former.. U know what a great pal Di was..Wasn't she a friend i'd have died for.. Unfortunately she didnt gimme a chance.. If i could get over that tragedy, then nothing is impossible.. In fact, all the lessons learnt from the past seem to be helping me now..
I've realised that the first thing to do in these circumstances is to not torture oneself by asking questions...Avoid the W word like crazy.. Dont ask "Why me God?" "Where did i go wrong?" "who is the other person?" "what shud i have done for things to have worked out otherwise?"
Then start systematically removing all traces of the person from your life..I'd started this process sometime back by stopping my excursions to her blog..I've deleted all mails and stuff that reminds me of her..Next wud be to remove her from YM...this is all gonna be a little painful but its practical..Though physical stuff is easier to dismiss, what is tougher to handle are thoughts.. so start focussing on activities that you are equally passionate about.. When Di died, i was lucky to be involved with Gs script at that time.. I now plan to sleep early, wake up late and start exercising... get serious abt TT again and maybe even start trekking :-)
And hey, though the first week is rough, i am surprised i have actually gotten over it in just a couple of days.. However this is no reflection of how much i care for her..Which brings me to that statement of urs abt this being a test of my strength & character...The way i see this whole thing is as follows:
1. She's found someone who loves her lots - i cant believe there cud be a person who cares for her more than me :D but if there is someone... - i can only say "Lucky her"
or
2. She's found someone who likes her lots but obv not as much as me - more likely case - its her loss.. Poor her..
or
3. She's in love with someone...most likely - and all i can tell her then is "All the best :-)"
Neway as i say often love is not about being accepted, its just about letting the othe rperson know that you will be there when it matters.. and i think i have done that. Period.
Btw, this doesn't seem to be much of a blog..If you dont stop this consoling act, i am quitting :-(
I've realised that the first thing to do in these circumstances is to not torture oneself by asking questions...Avoid the W word like crazy.. Dont ask "Why me God?" "Where did i go wrong?" "who is the other person?" "what shud i have done for things to have worked out otherwise?"
Then start systematically removing all traces of the person from your life..I'd started this process sometime back by stopping my excursions to her blog..I've deleted all mails and stuff that reminds me of her..Next wud be to remove her from YM...this is all gonna be a little painful but its practical..Though physical stuff is easier to dismiss, what is tougher to handle are thoughts.. so start focussing on activities that you are equally passionate about.. When Di died, i was lucky to be involved with Gs script at that time.. I now plan to sleep early, wake up late and start exercising... get serious abt TT again and maybe even start trekking :-)
And hey, though the first week is rough, i am surprised i have actually gotten over it in just a couple of days.. However this is no reflection of how much i care for her..Which brings me to that statement of urs abt this being a test of my strength & character...The way i see this whole thing is as follows:
1. She's found someone who loves her lots - i cant believe there cud be a person who cares for her more than me :D but if there is someone... - i can only say "Lucky her"
or
2. She's found someone who likes her lots but obv not as much as me - more likely case - its her loss.. Poor her..
or
3. She's in love with someone...most likely - and all i can tell her then is "All the best :-)"
Neway as i say often love is not about being accepted, its just about letting the othe rperson know that you will be there when it matters.. and i think i have done that. Period.
Btw, this doesn't seem to be much of a blog..If you dont stop this consoling act, i am quitting :-(
