Saturday, January 22, 2005
More Tam Bram rants
This 'story' is coming straight from a down-on-his-luck Tam Bram guy, grappling with life in a South Indian city stuck in the Dark Ages, trying his damnedest to whip up some excitement in an otherwise dull and dreary existence :-)
Lets call this guy V. Now for the last couple of months, V has been claiming to anyone who will give him an ear that he's 'going around' with a colleague of his called A, a well bred typical Tam Bram gal. For starters, there are people who even dispute this claim since everyone but V is probably aware that a couple of movies / coffee get-togethers / long walks on the beach do not constitute 'going around' in a Tam Bram gal's dictionary...but let's leave that for a later discussion.
It appears there was this New Year bash in V's company and as part of the celebrations, Dumb Charades had been organised. Now V has never been one to miss even a single culturals from his college days and is a firm believer in the 'play-to-win' philosphy. As things would happen, lots were drawn randomly and he ended up being partnered with A and another friend of hers.(Non Tam Bram gal) Nothing could have suited V more and it seems they did quite well in the first three rounds. Bloody well, if you ask me, as he revealed that going into the final movies round, they were leading by a comfortable 50 odd seconds. As luck would have it, the second and third placed teams had cracked their movies in less than 5 secs so Vs team had been under a litle bit of pressure to get it right within the 60 secs limit to ensure that they finished on top. And here comes the best part of the story :-) Since A had been doing the miming all along, she went ahead and picked the chit. It seems she stared at it for a good 10 seconds after the clock had started and then stared at her teammates. Another 15 seconds passed by and by now it seems V had become desperate. He pleaded with her to not give up and try acting out something. She just remained silent and returned back claiming that she could not do it. And here comes the bestest part :-)) When V insisted on knowing what the movie was, pat came the reply "You don't expect me to act out lurid stuff like "Sex, Lies and Videotape", do you?" Hahahahahaha !! The day I first heard this story, I almost died of laughter. What was even more funny was that A and V hadn't talked to each other for a good 15 days after this incident and things have thawed down a little only now.
In this intervening period I have had to bear the brunt of V's diatribe against the whole community of Tam Bram women. Part of it was in the form of this mail that I am reproducing below. Tis a slight variation of the terribly cliched "What it means to have a Tamilian Girlfriend" but still a thought-provoking read. Some of it might sound plain ridikulous but if you are honest with yourself you'll find most of them to be true ;-)
Show me a Tam Brahm girl who can dance decently to anything but Indian film music and I will stop ridiculing the tribe.
Show me a Tam Brahm girl who doesn't sneer at you when you use a spoon to eat curd rice and I will stop ridiculing the tribe.
Show me a Tam Brahm girl who won't shriek when you tell her that you still watch porn and I will stop ridiculing the tribe.
Show me a Tam Brahm girl who can fall in love and dare to make the first move and I will stop ridiculing the tribe.
Show me a Tam Brahm girl who doesn't like Arvind Swamy and Madhavan and I will stop ridiculing the tribe.
Show me a Tam Brahm girl who doesn't insist on eating only those chocolates with the green circle in their wrappers and I will stop ridiculing the tribe.
Show me a Tam Brahm girl whose connection to cricket goes beyond verbose Krishnamachari Srikanth or cute Rahul Dravid and I will stop ridiculing the tribe.
Show me a Tam Brahm girl who doesn't introduce you to her family before or just after the first date and I will stop ridiculing the tribe.
Lets call this guy V. Now for the last couple of months, V has been claiming to anyone who will give him an ear that he's 'going around' with a colleague of his called A, a well bred typical Tam Bram gal. For starters, there are people who even dispute this claim since everyone but V is probably aware that a couple of movies / coffee get-togethers / long walks on the beach do not constitute 'going around' in a Tam Bram gal's dictionary...but let's leave that for a later discussion.
It appears there was this New Year bash in V's company and as part of the celebrations, Dumb Charades had been organised. Now V has never been one to miss even a single culturals from his college days and is a firm believer in the 'play-to-win' philosphy. As things would happen, lots were drawn randomly and he ended up being partnered with A and another friend of hers.(Non Tam Bram gal) Nothing could have suited V more and it seems they did quite well in the first three rounds. Bloody well, if you ask me, as he revealed that going into the final movies round, they were leading by a comfortable 50 odd seconds. As luck would have it, the second and third placed teams had cracked their movies in less than 5 secs so Vs team had been under a litle bit of pressure to get it right within the 60 secs limit to ensure that they finished on top. And here comes the best part of the story :-) Since A had been doing the miming all along, she went ahead and picked the chit. It seems she stared at it for a good 10 seconds after the clock had started and then stared at her teammates. Another 15 seconds passed by and by now it seems V had become desperate. He pleaded with her to not give up and try acting out something. She just remained silent and returned back claiming that she could not do it. And here comes the bestest part :-)) When V insisted on knowing what the movie was, pat came the reply "You don't expect me to act out lurid stuff like "Sex, Lies and Videotape", do you?" Hahahahahaha !! The day I first heard this story, I almost died of laughter. What was even more funny was that A and V hadn't talked to each other for a good 15 days after this incident and things have thawed down a little only now.
In this intervening period I have had to bear the brunt of V's diatribe against the whole community of Tam Bram women. Part of it was in the form of this mail that I am reproducing below. Tis a slight variation of the terribly cliched "What it means to have a Tamilian Girlfriend" but still a thought-provoking read. Some of it might sound plain ridikulous but if you are honest with yourself you'll find most of them to be true ;-)
Show me a Tam Brahm girl who can dance decently to anything but Indian film music and I will stop ridiculing the tribe.
Show me a Tam Brahm girl who doesn't sneer at you when you use a spoon to eat curd rice and I will stop ridiculing the tribe.
Show me a Tam Brahm girl who won't shriek when you tell her that you still watch porn and I will stop ridiculing the tribe.
Show me a Tam Brahm girl who can fall in love and dare to make the first move and I will stop ridiculing the tribe.
Show me a Tam Brahm girl who doesn't like Arvind Swamy and Madhavan and I will stop ridiculing the tribe.
Show me a Tam Brahm girl who doesn't insist on eating only those chocolates with the green circle in their wrappers and I will stop ridiculing the tribe.
Show me a Tam Brahm girl whose connection to cricket goes beyond verbose Krishnamachari Srikanth or cute Rahul Dravid and I will stop ridiculing the tribe.
Show me a Tam Brahm girl who doesn't introduce you to her family before or just after the first date and I will stop ridiculing the tribe.
