Wednesday, February 16, 2005
Another day in another year goes by... ;-)
6:45 am
The alarm rings out shrilly. Tucked comfortably under the sheets, I try to ignore the din. I can hear Mom screaming from the kitchen that its time for me to wake up. I grope around hoping to put the clock back in snooze mood and catch up with a few more minutes of precious sleep. But Mom is wise to my tricks. She has placed the alarm well away from my reach so that I will have to get up and turn it off. I give up. I amble towards the door praying that the newspaper has come on time. Negative. I brush my teeth and drink the coffee that Mom had already kept ready at the table. The temperature of the coffee is a little lesser than what I usually prefer. I crib.
6:55 am
I survey myself in the mirror and realise that I definitely need to shave. Damnit. 5 wasted minutes. Dad has not woken up yet (I wish once again that I was retired) and I'm not really sure I should play the music system from my bedroom at the other end of the house like I usually do. What the hell.. Might as well.. Was that poetry ? Hahaha..Kisna it shall be.. Aham Brahmasmi...As luck would have it, Gilette Mach 3 is in a foul mood. I get nicked near the lip and its slowly bleeding. I then polish my shoes till its shining so much that I can actually see the small cut below my lip.
7:15 am
The newspaper has still not been delivered and I can ill afford to wait longer. I trudge towards the bathroom. Thankfully the water here is really hot. I whistle Hum Hain Is Pal Yahan accompanying the strains that filter through from my bedroom.
7:27 am
Bath is done. I can't believe I am so much ahead of time. I switch on telly hoping to catch EPL and La Liga news on Headlines Today. I take my own sweet time in dressing up - Should I take out that expensive but smelly French perfume ? hmmmmm - finally leave for the bus stop.
7:38 am
Damnit. When you're early, the bus is late. Some dolt said this, right ? EC-18G arrives in the next couple of minutes and I find a good window seat on the double seater side towards the end of the bus. That way I can have 'the perfect view'.
7:52 am
Accident at Silk Board. A school van has collided with the railing. Thankfully there were no children inside. A good 5 minutes hold up. I am bored - bad music, no newspaper, no paper back, no 'interesting people' - I just don't like the vibes of this new day.
8:08 am
Why can't this dumb female just shut up and play songs ? Not again - Saason Ko Saason..Why does Vasanti prefer this song so much ?
8:16 am
Another accident near MICO. This time its an overturned cart. Again no one seems to have been injured but this time traffic has dwindled into a single file and it appears as if its gonna result in another 10 mt delay.
8:28 am
Finally we are clear of the mess and turning into EC. I gaze out of my window across to the Infy campus and let out a sigh. Should I? I guess not. I will have to buy atleast a dozen formal shirts, a new pair of brown shoes and half a dozen ties. Not worth it.
8:31 am
The bus has stopped. I look mournfully from my seat and silently watch as hordes and hordes of cyber coolis walk towards 'the factory'. Yet another normal work day has just started.
8:35 am
I can't log into my machine. All hell breaks loose around me. These stupid IMG people have migrated everyone to XP over the weekend but as usual, things have gone horribly wrong just at my terminal. When the IMG person finally logs into my machine I find my mailbox in a mess. My PST is gone and I realise for the first time since coming here, I could be cut off from the rest of the world. I throw a tantrum, hurl silent abuses at the stupidity of the IMG team promising to escalate it to upto one level below VP and give an ultimatum that if things are not restored to normalcy within 5 mts, I will shoot them all dead.
8:40 am
Voila. My mailbox is working. There are 2 virulent mails from friends who complain that I've been ignoring their fone calls since morning. I check my mobile only to realise that I have forgotten to change from Silent mode to General. Damn those late night crank calls. The strategy session starts in 5 mts and I can't afford to get into courtesy calls, that too with women, more so T-O-D-A-Y. I take printouts of the 4 presentations and rush to Bay Of Bengal.
8:47 am
32 people were invited for the Strategy session but only 13 have turned up so far. The value of time - when will we Indians ever realise that. More bad news. One of the bosses completes 15 yrs today - we had arranged for a cake and a small ceremony but I just get news that the cyclist bringing the cake has also got into an accident (is this all for true ?) and the cake is ruint. Backup plan: Infosys has a Cake Corner and we know someone there who's just offered to bail us out. So ironic, isnt it ? Sometimes our best friends are our competitors.
8:58 am
We are already behind schedule so BIG BOSS decides he's waited long enough. The perfunctory congratulation speech, trip down memory lane talk and praises from all corners done with, we get down to the serious business of eating the yummy chocolate cake. I know I must watch my weight but I think I will ignore it just this one time.
9:23 am
BOSS kicks off the Strategy session with his opening speech and then throws the floor open to me. I have been preparing for this moment for weeks and I slowly but surely fire most of those present for contributing zilch to the Task Forces over the last month. Using my most diplomatic tone and politically right language, I pull up everyone who promised to dedicate time but failed to do so. By the time I finish, everyone is almost hanging his head in shame and can't wait for a chance to redeem themselves.
9:45 am
Task force 1 presents. The biggest disadvantage of being the one driving an initiative of this magnitude is the fact that you've been sitting in the umpteeen reviews that have happened so far, you've edited and reedited the individual presentations so much that when the final version is presented in front of the larger audience, you are terribly bored. You know each word by heart now. So what do you do ? You doze off. But given that each session has a time frame and there is around 250 years of experience amongst the people sitting around who still insist on fighting like spoilt kids, you have to double up as a cop too. So suddenly I hear the noise levels and my sub conscious mind tells me I must intervene ('moderate' in CV speak) I call a time out, order the presenter to move on and recline back to the comforts of the dimly lit room and the cosy chair. Zzzzzzz.
11:30 am
Despite my best efforts towards the later part of the first presentation, they have overshot their time. Boss is not too pleased with it. (To be read: I need to assert myself more forcibly) Task Force 2 presents. I know things are gonna get easier since this is one on next year's Business Targets. With BIG BOSS looming over their shoulders, no one dares even murmur about the high numbers. No need for mediation and crowd control. The presentor has just 14 slides but sensing that he has the audience held hostage, shamelessly plays to the gallery. He just does not want to press the DOWN arrow key. I walk towards the coffee container at the far end of the room for my second fill of the morning.
12:50 pm
At ten to 1, the presenter reluctantly vacates the spotlight, his presentation done. People who've been edgy and hungry for the last 20 minutes rush towards the waiting room. Its supposed to be a working lunch but no one bothers to fill his plate and return to the seat. Since I've not had breakfast, I devour everything that's there in the menu - Veg Corn and Coriander Soup, Salad Nicoise, Buffalo Chips, Olive and Pepperoni pizza with Banana Walnut Pie. A few people compliment me on the excellent menu, I take a bow.
1:30 pm
Time to get back to the mundane show. Task Force 3 starts its presentation. I expect some fireworks here since this is a presentation which has reviewed the existing Account Mapping and come up with some hard hitting observations. Disappointingly everyone seems to have no qualms in accepting their failures. Or maybe the food has made them so drowsy that they are in no mood for arguments. Bad news. We are now ahead of schedule and trust me, this isn't much of a frequent occurrence here. Thankfully I've planned for it. I quickly announce a 15 mt bio break (Wowww.. My vocabulary is improving..For the less educated it means all you buggers can go take a leak)
3:05 pm
The last Task Force takes centre stage. Now this one is on a very specialised area and I can already see from the first few slides that most of the audience has lost interest. I open my diary and start making notes for a post that I will later use in my blog. The TM near me slyly tries to pry on whatever I am writing. I act as if its a secret memo to the FBI and hide the page from his view. His curiosity piqued, he gives up all pretenses and openly admits his interest in what I am penning. I close the book, wink at him wickedly and move to another chair. He can see that it was all a game and frowns disapprovingly. Time just doesn't seem to fly. I try to catch some more sleep but it just won't happen. I try to write some poetry but fail miserably. I sketch a few roses, mountains and rivers but boredom soon sets in. I wait.
4:45 pm
The last presentation of the day finally ends. We have a quick coffee break and I am then asked to sum up the discussions of the day. Thankfully I had outsourced this job to 4 other people, one in each of the Task forces. After collating their inputs, I make a hasty presentation that is well received. Pat on my back.
5:20 am
The forum is thrown wide open to free flowing discussions. As usual the cribbing starts "Freshers are of very low quality - People suck", "Training is insufficient", "We need more investments"...blah blah blah... I furiously jot down every single word and in the process break a couple of pencil points. When its all over, I distribute 'feedback forms" on whether the event had been well organised. Of course its supposed to be anonymous feedback but then I recognise the handwriting of most of the people in the room and make this pretty much clear to them. Needless to say, most of the feedback is glowing.
5:55 pm
The circus winds up with a passionate concluding speech by BIG BOSS exhorting all of us to work hard to take Wipro to great heights. Wowww.. Mentally noted down to offer a role to him in my first movie. He's awesome at theatrics.
6:00 pm
I come out of Bay Of Bengal and stretch my limbs - the first few breaths of fresh air send a shiver down my body and I suddenly feel all charged up.
6:05 pm
I have to send out the minutes of the whole day's proceedings before I leave, for experience tells me that whenever I've procrastinated I've been caught out. I reach my desk, check my inbox to find a few more mails from some dear friends. The replies will have to wait till tomorrow. I go Visible in YM and within a couple of minutes, I find myself chatting up with 3 pals and also working on my Minutes-Of-Meeting. Long Live Multitasking.
7:10 pm
The M-O-M is done. The mail is sent. Time for full fledged chatting. Relationships, Shiv Sena, Pablo Neruda, Archies and Hallmark, Blog posts, Smileys and Winkies, Thatha and kozhandai, parties in Melbourne, BLACK, Life-is-a-bitch stories, Meg Ryan, fears and insecurities,.... One hour of non stop chat means that there is atleast something that I have maanged to salvage out of this day.
8:20 pm
I get into my bus and fall asleep within a couple of minutes even before we leave from EC. I wake up half an hour later very close to Fernhill thanks to the lady sitting besides me.
9:05 pm
Home Sweet Home. Over dinner I watch Sleepless in Seattle for the umpteenth time on Star Movies. Mom fills me in on what she's been doing all day which is watching movies that I had recommended her to see.. All Meg Ryan starrers - French Kiss and When Harry met Sally...For once, we are in total agreement that Meg is choooooooooooo chweeeeeeeeeeet. And mom's already seen her in You've got Mail and Kate and Leopold.
10:00 pm
Its time for F.R.I.E.N.D.S
10:30 pm
I really need to sleep. I move over to the table top calendar in my bedroom and bring on the next day - Tuesday: Feb 15.
10:33 pm
Bye Bye Val day. See ya next time around.
The alarm rings out shrilly. Tucked comfortably under the sheets, I try to ignore the din. I can hear Mom screaming from the kitchen that its time for me to wake up. I grope around hoping to put the clock back in snooze mood and catch up with a few more minutes of precious sleep. But Mom is wise to my tricks. She has placed the alarm well away from my reach so that I will have to get up and turn it off. I give up. I amble towards the door praying that the newspaper has come on time. Negative. I brush my teeth and drink the coffee that Mom had already kept ready at the table. The temperature of the coffee is a little lesser than what I usually prefer. I crib.
6:55 am
I survey myself in the mirror and realise that I definitely need to shave. Damnit. 5 wasted minutes. Dad has not woken up yet (I wish once again that I was retired) and I'm not really sure I should play the music system from my bedroom at the other end of the house like I usually do. What the hell.. Might as well.. Was that poetry ? Hahaha..Kisna it shall be.. Aham Brahmasmi...As luck would have it, Gilette Mach 3 is in a foul mood. I get nicked near the lip and its slowly bleeding. I then polish my shoes till its shining so much that I can actually see the small cut below my lip.
7:15 am
The newspaper has still not been delivered and I can ill afford to wait longer. I trudge towards the bathroom. Thankfully the water here is really hot. I whistle Hum Hain Is Pal Yahan accompanying the strains that filter through from my bedroom.
7:27 am
Bath is done. I can't believe I am so much ahead of time. I switch on telly hoping to catch EPL and La Liga news on Headlines Today. I take my own sweet time in dressing up - Should I take out that expensive but smelly French perfume ? hmmmmm - finally leave for the bus stop.
7:38 am
Damnit. When you're early, the bus is late. Some dolt said this, right ? EC-18G arrives in the next couple of minutes and I find a good window seat on the double seater side towards the end of the bus. That way I can have 'the perfect view'.
7:52 am
Accident at Silk Board. A school van has collided with the railing. Thankfully there were no children inside. A good 5 minutes hold up. I am bored - bad music, no newspaper, no paper back, no 'interesting people' - I just don't like the vibes of this new day.
8:08 am
Why can't this dumb female just shut up and play songs ? Not again - Saason Ko Saason..Why does Vasanti prefer this song so much ?
8:16 am
Another accident near MICO. This time its an overturned cart. Again no one seems to have been injured but this time traffic has dwindled into a single file and it appears as if its gonna result in another 10 mt delay.
8:28 am
Finally we are clear of the mess and turning into EC. I gaze out of my window across to the Infy campus and let out a sigh. Should I? I guess not. I will have to buy atleast a dozen formal shirts, a new pair of brown shoes and half a dozen ties. Not worth it.
8:31 am
The bus has stopped. I look mournfully from my seat and silently watch as hordes and hordes of cyber coolis walk towards 'the factory'. Yet another normal work day has just started.
8:35 am
I can't log into my machine. All hell breaks loose around me. These stupid IMG people have migrated everyone to XP over the weekend but as usual, things have gone horribly wrong just at my terminal. When the IMG person finally logs into my machine I find my mailbox in a mess. My PST is gone and I realise for the first time since coming here, I could be cut off from the rest of the world. I throw a tantrum, hurl silent abuses at the stupidity of the IMG team promising to escalate it to upto one level below VP and give an ultimatum that if things are not restored to normalcy within 5 mts, I will shoot them all dead.
8:40 am
Voila. My mailbox is working. There are 2 virulent mails from friends who complain that I've been ignoring their fone calls since morning. I check my mobile only to realise that I have forgotten to change from Silent mode to General. Damn those late night crank calls. The strategy session starts in 5 mts and I can't afford to get into courtesy calls, that too with women, more so T-O-D-A-Y. I take printouts of the 4 presentations and rush to Bay Of Bengal.
8:47 am
32 people were invited for the Strategy session but only 13 have turned up so far. The value of time - when will we Indians ever realise that. More bad news. One of the bosses completes 15 yrs today - we had arranged for a cake and a small ceremony but I just get news that the cyclist bringing the cake has also got into an accident (is this all for true ?) and the cake is ruint. Backup plan: Infosys has a Cake Corner and we know someone there who's just offered to bail us out. So ironic, isnt it ? Sometimes our best friends are our competitors.
8:58 am
We are already behind schedule so BIG BOSS decides he's waited long enough. The perfunctory congratulation speech, trip down memory lane talk and praises from all corners done with, we get down to the serious business of eating the yummy chocolate cake. I know I must watch my weight but I think I will ignore it just this one time.
9:23 am
BOSS kicks off the Strategy session with his opening speech and then throws the floor open to me. I have been preparing for this moment for weeks and I slowly but surely fire most of those present for contributing zilch to the Task Forces over the last month. Using my most diplomatic tone and politically right language, I pull up everyone who promised to dedicate time but failed to do so. By the time I finish, everyone is almost hanging his head in shame and can't wait for a chance to redeem themselves.
9:45 am
Task force 1 presents. The biggest disadvantage of being the one driving an initiative of this magnitude is the fact that you've been sitting in the umpteeen reviews that have happened so far, you've edited and reedited the individual presentations so much that when the final version is presented in front of the larger audience, you are terribly bored. You know each word by heart now. So what do you do ? You doze off. But given that each session has a time frame and there is around 250 years of experience amongst the people sitting around who still insist on fighting like spoilt kids, you have to double up as a cop too. So suddenly I hear the noise levels and my sub conscious mind tells me I must intervene ('moderate' in CV speak) I call a time out, order the presenter to move on and recline back to the comforts of the dimly lit room and the cosy chair. Zzzzzzz.
11:30 am
Despite my best efforts towards the later part of the first presentation, they have overshot their time. Boss is not too pleased with it. (To be read: I need to assert myself more forcibly) Task Force 2 presents. I know things are gonna get easier since this is one on next year's Business Targets. With BIG BOSS looming over their shoulders, no one dares even murmur about the high numbers. No need for mediation and crowd control. The presentor has just 14 slides but sensing that he has the audience held hostage, shamelessly plays to the gallery. He just does not want to press the DOWN arrow key. I walk towards the coffee container at the far end of the room for my second fill of the morning.
12:50 pm
At ten to 1, the presenter reluctantly vacates the spotlight, his presentation done. People who've been edgy and hungry for the last 20 minutes rush towards the waiting room. Its supposed to be a working lunch but no one bothers to fill his plate and return to the seat. Since I've not had breakfast, I devour everything that's there in the menu - Veg Corn and Coriander Soup, Salad Nicoise, Buffalo Chips, Olive and Pepperoni pizza with Banana Walnut Pie. A few people compliment me on the excellent menu, I take a bow.
1:30 pm
Time to get back to the mundane show. Task Force 3 starts its presentation. I expect some fireworks here since this is a presentation which has reviewed the existing Account Mapping and come up with some hard hitting observations. Disappointingly everyone seems to have no qualms in accepting their failures. Or maybe the food has made them so drowsy that they are in no mood for arguments. Bad news. We are now ahead of schedule and trust me, this isn't much of a frequent occurrence here. Thankfully I've planned for it. I quickly announce a 15 mt bio break (Wowww.. My vocabulary is improving..For the less educated it means all you buggers can go take a leak)
3:05 pm
The last Task Force takes centre stage. Now this one is on a very specialised area and I can already see from the first few slides that most of the audience has lost interest. I open my diary and start making notes for a post that I will later use in my blog. The TM near me slyly tries to pry on whatever I am writing. I act as if its a secret memo to the FBI and hide the page from his view. His curiosity piqued, he gives up all pretenses and openly admits his interest in what I am penning. I close the book, wink at him wickedly and move to another chair. He can see that it was all a game and frowns disapprovingly. Time just doesn't seem to fly. I try to catch some more sleep but it just won't happen. I try to write some poetry but fail miserably. I sketch a few roses, mountains and rivers but boredom soon sets in. I wait.
4:45 pm
The last presentation of the day finally ends. We have a quick coffee break and I am then asked to sum up the discussions of the day. Thankfully I had outsourced this job to 4 other people, one in each of the Task forces. After collating their inputs, I make a hasty presentation that is well received. Pat on my back.
5:20 am
The forum is thrown wide open to free flowing discussions. As usual the cribbing starts "Freshers are of very low quality - People suck", "Training is insufficient", "We need more investments"...blah blah blah... I furiously jot down every single word and in the process break a couple of pencil points. When its all over, I distribute 'feedback forms" on whether the event had been well organised. Of course its supposed to be anonymous feedback but then I recognise the handwriting of most of the people in the room and make this pretty much clear to them. Needless to say, most of the feedback is glowing.
5:55 pm
The circus winds up with a passionate concluding speech by BIG BOSS exhorting all of us to work hard to take Wipro to great heights. Wowww.. Mentally noted down to offer a role to him in my first movie. He's awesome at theatrics.
6:00 pm
I come out of Bay Of Bengal and stretch my limbs - the first few breaths of fresh air send a shiver down my body and I suddenly feel all charged up.
6:05 pm
I have to send out the minutes of the whole day's proceedings before I leave, for experience tells me that whenever I've procrastinated I've been caught out. I reach my desk, check my inbox to find a few more mails from some dear friends. The replies will have to wait till tomorrow. I go Visible in YM and within a couple of minutes, I find myself chatting up with 3 pals and also working on my Minutes-Of-Meeting. Long Live Multitasking.
7:10 pm
The M-O-M is done. The mail is sent. Time for full fledged chatting. Relationships, Shiv Sena, Pablo Neruda, Archies and Hallmark, Blog posts, Smileys and Winkies, Thatha and kozhandai, parties in Melbourne, BLACK, Life-is-a-bitch stories, Meg Ryan, fears and insecurities,.... One hour of non stop chat means that there is atleast something that I have maanged to salvage out of this day.
8:20 pm
I get into my bus and fall asleep within a couple of minutes even before we leave from EC. I wake up half an hour later very close to Fernhill thanks to the lady sitting besides me.
9:05 pm
Home Sweet Home. Over dinner I watch Sleepless in Seattle for the umpteenth time on Star Movies. Mom fills me in on what she's been doing all day which is watching movies that I had recommended her to see.. All Meg Ryan starrers - French Kiss and When Harry met Sally...For once, we are in total agreement that Meg is choooooooooooo chweeeeeeeeeeet. And mom's already seen her in You've got Mail and Kate and Leopold.
10:00 pm
Its time for F.R.I.E.N.D.S
10:30 pm
I really need to sleep. I move over to the table top calendar in my bedroom and bring on the next day - Tuesday: Feb 15.
10:33 pm
Bye Bye Val day. See ya next time around.
